You Don't Want to Have a Death Wish
by The Elven Jedi
Summary: You dont' want to sell me death sticks. Chaos. Pure and total chaos. Two insane Star Wars fans manage to find away to insert themselves into the Jedi Temple. Includes the REAL story behind many events, including, well, you'll have to read it to see! It's


A/N: This story is the result of new ADD medicine, (stimulants are our friends), boredom, and 1347.3 miles between the 2 of us. We took turns writing a sentence, or 2, or 3, depends on our brainstorms, and, yeah, on with the show.

Disclaimer: all hail George Lucas, we love George Lucas, he owns star wars, and we don't, that's sad.

The tour speeder made its way over to the Jedi Temple. Up at the front, a small man began speaking again. "This, ladies and gentlemen, is the Jedi Temple. The quietest, most peaceful place in the whole galaxy." Ominous music plays. Suddenly, gasp! a meteorite flies by the speeder, landing on the Temple steps. The passengers start to whisper. "What was that?" and other such questions. Finally, someone gets smart enough to read the writing on the side. "Code Red. Wonder what that is." Just then, gasp! another pair of meteorites flash by, becoming two teenage girls once reaching the steps. More ominous music. Finally, ga...hack...cough...clears throat...gasp! a final meteorite lands on the steps, materializing into a box of chocolate. The tour speeder's driver shook his head, and moved on to the Corusant Museum.

* * *

Erin and Sarah looked around the steps. Yoda, seeing these new developments, sent Quinlan Vos to meet them, saying only "Visitors, have we."

* * *

Erin and Sarah recovered from their shock and started jumping up and down. "It worked! It really worked," they shouted. Quinlan walked outside into chaos. Due to the girl's lack of self control, most of the sugar had been ingested. His eyes got really big, however, when the girls noticed him and started muttering.

"He's here, the time period must be pre Clone Wars. But not too early. Maybe Anakin's here. Or Obi." And other seemingly random phrases.

"Erm, hello, my name is Quinlan Vos, and Yoda-" "We're gonna meet YODA! Elana would FLIP!" the brunette yelled, before tackling the frightened Jedi. After trying to remove himself from the girl, Quinlan finally just pushed her off with the Force. She pouted, while the blonde laughed.

"I wanna hug the super cool Jedi!."

"So go ahead." the brunette said, then went back to sulking. Without further ado, blondie jumped on the poor man. Quinlan again used to Force to free himself, this time keeping a wary eye on the two. They were crazy he decided. Or evil. He was slightly out of breath from battling two teenage girls.

"Who... are... you?" he panted out.

"I'm Sarah, and that's Erin, and we LOVE STAR WARS!" The blonde said.

"That sounded like something you'd say at an AA meeting." Erin said, which reduced the girls to hysterics. Quinlan started to back away, and then remembered his mission. He groaned inwardly. He always got stuck with the crappy jobs.

"Um, follow me please." The girls scrambled about, grabbing the bottles of soda, and the bars of chocolate, before walking purposefully towards the door. Quinlan had not even gotten ten paces inside the doors when they took off running. He stopped, in shock, before realizing who exactly was sprinting through the temple.

"No! Stop!" Since they obviously weren't going to listen, he followed. They ran full out, until even Quinlan was getting breathless, but the girls were completely under the influence of caffiene. They ran into someone who looks strangely familiar...

"Anakin! WAHHHHHHHHHH!" the girls colapsed in a heap, sobbing all over the padewan's robes. Obi-wan stepped around the wreck.

"Master Yoda sent me for re-enforcements, whats going on here?" he said getting louder with each word so he could be heard over the girls. Quinlan sighed.

"I wish I knew. Master Yoda sent me to get them, and I'm haveing quite the problem getting them up to the Council room." Obi-wan raised an eyebrow.

"I have an idea." He grinned, and turned back to the girls. Obi-wan, very carefully and quietly snuck up behind the girls and snagged the Mountain Dew. Quinlan followed his lead, and grabbed the chocolate. They both snuck to the end of the hallway with the elevators and stepped inside one, keeping the doors open for a moment.

"Oh girls... look what we have!" Erin and Sarah's heads popped up. Both pairs of eyes went red. The lift doors had barely shut when the girls reached them and started clawing and hitting and yelling. Little Anakin shook his head and tapped Erin. When she turned to look at him

"I think they are headed for the Council. I can take you there." he said.

"He's too cute for what happens, don't you think?" Erin said, with a sudden strange bout of lucid -ness.

"Yeah, he is, oh well. Anakin, please help us get our Dew back, it's our elixer of life!" Sarah also sounded calm and rational. It must be catching.

"The chocolate is our medication! If we don't have it, who knows what might happen." Erin added. Up many stories in the Temple, Quinlan Vos and Obi-wan Kenobi both shivered, without knowing why.

* * *

Moments later, the crazed teenagers (lucid-ness had passed) blazed into the council, yelling 

"WE WANT OUR CHOCOLATE NOW!" Young Anakin stood outside, barely poking his head around the door. He knew better than to mess with these girls, but apparently the Masters thought they could handle them. Yoda, who was the current custodian of their 'treasures,' looked up at the pair of teens and serenely said:

"Chocolate, you will have not." Sarah shut right up again, then said

"Could we have a minute to collect ourselves, please? C'mon Erin." she dragged her best friend (who was foaming at the mouth) outside the council rom and sat her down.

(A/N: this was an actual conversation we had via IM about this part, and we're lazy, so we put it in.)

Erin: Yoda gotta death wish?

Sarah: Ahh, maybe we should be afraid of him.

Erin: Us? Afraid? Not while he has our chocolate and code red!

Sarah: But he's YODA.Erin: So? We're crazed at the moment.

Sarah: Do you remember that scene in Episode 2 where he fights Dooku...

Erin: So? May I remind you, CODE RED!

Sarah: LIGHTSABERS, FLYING IN AIR, DISMEMBERMENT OF ANAKIN'S HAND...!HELLO!

Erin: That was Dooku, the whole hand thing.

Sarah: So what? Yoda held his own against that guy!

Erin: I think we can take him.

Sarah sighed, and followed her friend back inside. They paused for a moment inside the doorway, and charged. They were maybe a foot from the Jedi when someone stepped in front of them. Someone, who unlike Yoda, was taller than them. Sarah managed to skid to a halt, but Erin, well, she wasn't so good with the breaks.

* * *

REVIEW! Or we'll give your chocolate to Yoda too!  



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